Looking into our eyes, she let go. As the roller coaster climbed that first drop, she was still apprehensive. She thought she wanted off the ride. But then something happened. As we sailed down and into a loop, she stopped gripping the handrail and put her arms into the air. "Wheeee!" She was having a blast. As soon as the ride ended, she was begging to go again and again and again. In the end, we had to tear her away from Goofy's Barnstormer!
Two years later, my husband's job was telling us to move an hour and 45 minutes from the town we had always lived. We had a 9-month-old, a 2-year-old and a 6-year-old. My grandma had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It didn't make sense to move away from family support, family babysitters and a grandma who needed me to be there for visits. You would have thought I was a 4 year old. I cried, I yelled, I threatened, I bargained with God for days. I listed often all the reasons God was messing up by allowing the move to happen. One night, God spoke quietly to my heart. He said, "Lisa, you are just like your daughter and that kiddie coaster. You are wrapping your arms and legs around your present and refusing to move forward to go on the ride. But if you will trust Me, I promise, it will be the best ride of your life." And with that, I looked into His eyes and I let go.
And He was so right. Four years later and we LOVE where we are: a better house, a great church, wonderful friends and support. We have grown as a couple and as a family. The job is better and the income is great. Why was I fighting so hard to avoid this?? It's easy now to see why He had us move. But I couldn't see it at the time. It felt like blind trust back then.
So, people have asked me how we are going to make this Guatemala curriculum work. It doesn't make sense. Are we going to live there? Is my husband quitting his great job? How are we going to raise the $500,000 we need? How can we even consider leaving our comfortable home? What about the girls? And on and on. Believe me, I have had those same questions. But when I start to freak out and my arms and legs want to wrap around my present, I remember my last ride with God. And I look into His eyes again.